DO NOT DRINK THIS STUFF!!!

#cleansingtea #detoxtea #weightloss #weightlosstea #detoxification

I recently discovered this tea a few months ago, which is a sort of herbal detox tea. Apparently the purpose of the tea is to cleanse your insides and help to regulate your digestive tract. The tea also suggests that beneficial side effects might include weight loss as well as less bloating around the stomach area and possibly the look of a slimmer body due to the loss of water weight.

Me being someone who is all about keeping my insides clean, I decided that I will go ahead and see what this tea is all about. So I went to this link on Amazon and purchased myself a boxy-box. The tea came in the mail a few days ago, and I prepared it per the directions on the box and drank myself some.

First and foremost, the directions very specifically state that you should contact your doctor before drinking this stuff. In my opinion, this is already a scary sign and something I should have been aware of from the beginning. I mean, what in God's green hell does it have to do to you, in order for there to be a very clear disclaimer to seek advice from a medical professional before drinking it? I mean, even McDonald's doesn't tell you to seek advice from a medical professional before consuming their food.

Next off, the box tells you not to drink this stuff for more than 7 days in a row. Now to me, if something is a regular antioxidant such as blueberries or cucumber, there would be no warning to not consume it for more than 7 days in a row. The fact that they state on the box and feel they have an ostensible legal obligation to LET YOU KNOW not to drink this stuff for more than 7 days in a row is a bad, bad sign. Again, a warning sign I should have seen, but ignored.

(There are also review on the product on Amazon and other websites that retail it that also warn against everything, but alas, I ignored those as well).

Now, this stuff off the bat smells and tastes TERRIBLE. It has a very earthy scent to it and a very earthy, almost mushroom-y taste. It is AWFUL. The directions state that if drinking it for the first time, to only steep it for 3 minutes and to increase steeping times as you drink it more and more and your body grows accustomed to it. I steeped it for 3 minutes and then drank it.

Now I will say that me, myself, I experienced an intense cramping in my stomach about 15 minutes (yeah, I kind of have a relatively quick digestion system). Then, boy was I glad that I was around a bathroom because it makes you feel as if you are pouring the devil out of your derriere. Now it doesn't only do this to you once, but MULTIPLE times within the next 7 hours. To rehydrate myself, I began drinking a ton of water. Bad idea. It kept going more and more.

Finally, when I was sure the last episode was said and done, I made myself some green tea to try and regulate my digestive system BACK from being previously regulated. Which is why you see it in the photo above.

The tea claims it comes from some exotic region of the world, and if that exotic region is the depths of Hades and the leaves are grown in Satan's backyard, then they are absolutely correct.

However, I weighed myself the next day after that entire episode and I had lost 5 LBS. Yeah, 5 lbs. THAT was amazing.

So maybe it does work? I dunno. All I know is, is that if you decide to give it a try, make sure you've got nothing planned for that day (and possibly the next day) and that you always have access to a bathroom.