Pretty But Impractical

I got a manicure on Saturday, despite it being Chinese New Year. My brother-in-law's girlfriend invited me and I thought, why not.

First and foremost, let me say that these nail technicians impress the hell out of me. They have such steady hands and the way that they operate these nail files with such precision astounds me. On top of painting the nails cleanly as well, I daresay I am impressed.

The design you see, the technician free-handed it. Yes, I'm serious. That is amazing at how straight he was able to get the lines. I am definitely amazed and he did a fantastic job.

If you're ever in Cape Cod and need a manicure, ask for Peter at Epic Nail Bar. He will NOT let you down and is the BEST.

Now, however, as you know beauty comes with a price. These nails are impractical for doing ANYTHING. I cannot type, I cannot text, I cannot do the simplest function without the nails banging against something. I need my husband to do simple tasks such as opening a bag or unscrewing a particularly difficult jar. I keep seeing Kylie Jenner getting these outrageously long nails and I keep thinking that either she has someone assist her with every aspect of her existence, her life must either be terrible OR she learned with deftness at how to function with talons.

I remember this kind of slutty girl who I used to know and who used to get these wild manicures once tweeted after she got her nails removed, "so hard to text without my nails." I think she was flexing as to how slutty she can be, because I can't imagine how any human being would benefit from having long nails and texting with them.

Anyway, rant done. Next time I get my nails done, I'm getting them shorter, or I'm just not ever getting my nails done again. Deal?